Thursday, September 21, 2006
looking around, i see almost everyone's sites going on hiatus as the final years draw closer. well i did comtemplate about being cliche and saying
hello guys. this'll be my last post till after the exams. so, so long for now as i'm going on HIATUS .
however, hiatuses do no justice to me as i have sinned and fallen short. i did try to study thanks to constant reminding(nagging, screaming, going postal). and today was the day i came closest to studying. however...here's what happened.
so. it was 8 30pm. and i felt a north wind blow steadily. the wind sifted through my long black gothic, angsty and wild locks. and i felt a little feminine. so i did a little dance in my undies.(yes rachel i was wearing white so go froth at the mouth HAW HAW.) then my mum caught me while i was having a short cha cha session with her mop and she banished me from my house and has never acknowledged me as a son since.
is what might have happened had i turned gay from wearing too-tight-tees. tight black turns you metrosexual!
so. it was 8 30pm. and there wasnt a single breath of wind to be felt. not even from the north. and i was headbangin' to disturbed and suddenly it hit me. no not the wall.(HAHAHAHA..ha..ha..damn you fans of witty humour. bring back old school random jokes) it hit me that boonyew's a bad influence! he hooks me up on rammstein. he hooks me up on disturbed. he hooks me up on bayside.(bayside's a cult. spread the love. muack muack!) so i went back online, blocked him and deleted him, at the same time screaming,"GET THEE BEHIND ME EVIL SCUMSUCKING ROAD WHORE!" kidding i just wanted to flame boonyew. boonyew i still lubx lubx you 184~(note : always pacify your prey after victimizing them. learn from the best =D)
ok if you havent already realised, there isnt much to my story thus causing a chain reaction sparking off random stories that goes so well with cheese and wine. here's what REALLY happened. i swear on my cheezels and green tea.
its was 8 30pm and there was not a breath of wind blowing. i was head banging to disturbed and thinking if we ever covered those kind of songs we'd need a satanic, evil and sadistic vocalist who loves bondage and kinky sex. so i suggested a mat! (a malay gangster or whatever. not a damned cloth you put on the floor for your pets to sleep on you inflexible pieces of...) actually i THOUGHT of a mat i didnt suggest to anybody unless i have a dual personality complex and i end up falling in love with myself. it was then that i decided that i needed a bathe. to clear my head and freshen myself up for a hard night's exertion.(you tend to concentrate better on kinky stuff. so if you relate studying to kinky stuff, you get lovely results. try it. you might surprise yourself all you sexy beasts out there) yeah so, after my bathe, i felt like,"alright brian. this is it. this is where all the hard studying starts. lets rock this final year like pam anderson got rocked by tommy wee. lets do this." and so i got out all my chem notes, sat down at the table, and i noticed 2 photo albums! i flipped through and felt old all of a sudden. i didnt even have wrinkles then. and my ass wasnt that big then. so, when i got to my second album, i suddenly came across a picture of myself. i wasnt wearing a shirt. but as a 4 year old boy that's quite common. as my eyes scrolled down my own 4 year old curves, i noticed something.
I. WASNT. WEARING. PANTS. EITHER.
HOLY F. IF THE PRESS EVER GOT HOLD OF SUCH AN UNHOLY PIECE OF POLAROID, MY CAREER WOULD GO DOWN THE DRAIN.
and it was there that i lost all motivation for studying. and here i stand before you, disgusted and unstudied. a piece of useful information to muggers. never look through your old photo albums just before you study. naked baby photos kill you faster than drugs and booze do.
i just took a portion of your life
Monday, September 18, 2006
there's something i really feel like proclaiming to the world
. its' a word rather. and what's that word kids? *annoying incessant children chatter and laughter* it's
"SENSITIVITY"
as we go about our daily lives, how many of you social ingrates and scumbags actually consider this word. as i'm rather hungry right now and in no mood for witty humour and flowery language, i shall attempt to make this a simple YET profound writing.
well, sometimes, as i live and breathe, i see many an occasion where people dont practise this at all. the only way to convey such a topic clearly is to first paint a picture of what a situation that lacks this S word would go like. hmm, lets take one simple example that happened to me.
so, here i was, in my classroom, sitting at my desk afterschool packing up my stuff and listening to some of my friends discussing Singapore Dreaming with my neurotic history teacher. all of a sudden(i have just sunk to a new low of using composition phrases such as thus.), this dude called matthew popped up beside me. and he looked happy. now, i dont mean to be emo and all and say that" NOBODY CAN BE HAPPY. I MEAN LIKE, HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY WHEN EVERYONE'S LOOKING AT YOU WITH SUCH..SUCH JUDGING EYES. I just..*sob*..i cant..take it..stop..stop looking at me! STOP JUDGING ME! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME..". yeah. so, as i was saying, he looked happy. and i thought to myself,"now THAT is the reason why life is meaningful! because we can experience emotions such as happiness.." and i drifted into a state of eternal bliss. not. i thought he looked somewhat..strange and alienated because i'm skeptical and all and..yeah.
BUT, i dont really bother myself with such things due to the fact that it takes up too much of my life bothering about why a happy dude just popped up beside me. thus i went on packing my bag and thinking $7 is pittance for a daily allowance of a growing 15 year old kid. and.
the happy dude squirted me with his bottle.
MATTHEW F-ING SQUIRTED ME WITH HIS BOTTLE WTF HAS HE LOST HIS PEANUTS?!
ok, so i wasnt..very much affected by that, considering the fact that, ITS THE END OF SCHOOL! we dont...we dont get mad over a squirt and such! sides, i'm waterproof up till 600m.
thus i let that squirt slide.
and then he said,"showers of blessing!"
and squirted me another 6 times till half my anatomy was drenched.
at the 3rd squirt i raised an eyebrow at him which smacked a message in his face that said,"dude, you're weird and strange and i dont like you at all so please step 2394273042739473209472 steps back."
i dont know if its..pure stupidity and nonchalance or the fact that "blessing" people gets him so high he loses his sense of better judgement that the dude he's showering is a land mammal by heart and detests the water and getting wet.
well, i dont think dear matthew took into consideration the fact that he had toed the borders of life and death. the only reason keeping me from reaching across the desk, ripping out his larynx and drinking his blood(i'm part vampiric. its what keeps me calm =D) was the fact that i was rather occupied looking for my tie. seeing that sitting around was only going to get my other half of my anatomy wet along with other extremities of my body, i decided to get up and check the cupboard at the back for my tie.
AND THAT CREATURE HAD THE..THE AUDACITY OF FOLLOWING ME. AND WORSE OF ALL, speaking of vampirism, HE STARTED DRAWING VAMPIRIC SIGNS ON THE FLOOR WITH HIS BOTTLE. like, y'know, the david's star with a circle around it. and here i was thinking that those signs that i found outside our class was done by another dude from another class. SO IT WAS HIM. THAT. CREATURE WHO ATTAINED NIRVANA AND TRIED SPREADING IT THROUGH LIQUID. sigh..yeah. and he went like,"yay! yay! yay!" anyways, from now on i'm typing in bold cause its irritating to switch around though i know you abstract anarchists love my previous architecture of switching around with the font thickness and all. so just get over it and live =D. so, as i was saying, matthew was going postal over vampiric signs and all and i was still searching around for my darned tie which i later found out that some other dude took it home. as i was standing by the cupboard peering into Narnia, he drew a triangle with his bottle and said,"if only i could fill this with kerosene and throw a lighter here then it'd be like Bloaw! so cool." you know what matthew, it would've been better if that was a hole six feet deep to which i would've buried you in and sealed the top with 3 layers of uncle flob's titanium cement.
alright..yeah so that's what happens when a person doesnt practise a little sensitivity. we ourselves get irritated and lose our sensitivity towards that person and thus a viscious cycle ensues. THEREFORE LOVES, always think about what your victim would feel before engaging in mean activities.(unless your victim's sicheng then..yeah that's an exception HAHAHAHHA sorry sicheng i lubx lubx you 184~)
i just took a portion of your life
Monday, September 11, 2006
good evening all my hot,sweaty and
sexy loves
hmm..there's nothing much to this post so i dont really think you should start reading this thinking that you'd learn something new or interesting about this earth. or this sad little country.
firstly, i've been spending the past 4 hours trying to sign into MSN Messenger. to which i've just succeeded but found apparently no one online except my long-suffering, fake friend of a bot SmarterChild. he's quite useful actually. i use him to fill up my contact list count and test if i'm lagging on msn or anything =D sometimes i realise we do take things for granted. like MSN Messenger for example. everyday i come home and sign in without even thinking a second thought about it. and today, i just couldnt no matter how much tried. hmm.
AND I WAS LIKE FUCKING PISSED OFF CAUSE IT COULDNT SIGN IN AND I WAS LIKE,"DAMN THIS SUCKS F-ING DICK AND I'M GOING TO LISTEN TO AVENGED SEVENFOLD AND PAINT MY NAILS AND CUT MYSELF AND WEAR EYELINER AND SCREAM ALONG WITH M.SHADOWS TILL MY THROAT GOES GOYAK AND I RELEASE A NEW ALBUM CALLED CITY OF EVIL WHERE I USE HARMONICS TO COVER MY SADDENING VOCALS SO THAT MY BAND DOESNT KICK ME OUT. I COULDNT PAY FOR MY SHADES IF THEY DID AND THE WORLD WOULD SEE THAT I DONT WEAR EYELINER AND ALL MY FANS WILL DITCH A7X AND SUPPORT THE ARTIC MONKEYS NOOOO." sorry i had a lorraine moment there.
yeah, so that was how my day was since i got home. anyways, i'm trying to think of something witty to say that should inevitably shake you up inside as you read this post and perhaps think about why the new msn live messenger looks so damned gay and retarded and overly colourful.
since i dont shine light on my personal life very often, just for today, i'd let you into my very very oh-so-glam life. well, since i cant really write about anything above the ratings of pg13 here and risk being flagged by middle-aged housewives who, bake bulletproof muffins and spend their free time keeping us young upstarts on the net in place, there's not very much i can actually expose to you lovely people. hmm..BUT i do think i could dig up something that actually toes that guildline.
TODAY. I HAD CHEMISTRY TEST ON CONCENTRATION AND I WAS LIKE,"DAMN THIS SHIT I CANT DO NO NOTHING AND I'M THINKING,SINCE I'M ALL GOTH AND GOING TO BE THE NEXT AVENGED TACKYFOLD, I SHOULD BE BURSTING MY LYRNX SCREAMING TO SECOND HEARTBEAT." oh dear excuse my lorraine moment. i think if she ever read this i'd be splashed across her lovely site, her myspace, her..everything and she'd be making people sign petitions to close down my blog, and for me to pay to send her for a one way trip to synyster gates's shack up at bat country. i mean, zacky vengence is just as hot as synyster. and zacky's just as cute as synyster. SO WHY DOES SYNYSTER GET TO STOMP AROUND WHILE EVERYONE GETS SMUSHED UNDER HIS BIG FEET. WE SHOULD ALL JUST STAB SYNYSTER. gretchen weiners had cracked. i do think i watched mean girls one time too many =D
As i was saying, i had a chemistry test today. which went quite disastrous indeed if i were to say so myself. there were was one blatant point that actually depicts how badly i screwed this little quiz up and i'll tell you about it later (though little is quite the understatement considering this counts for my final year =D) firstly, there was this questions where we had to calculate the mass of sodium hydroxide was it..that was required to neutralize an acid in the stomach. and if one pill of sodium hydroxide was 3 grams, how many pills would we thus require to destroy that fatty acid so that all is at peace in your intestines. well it wasnt my answer that was hilarious. i got 4 pills as my answer. still quite sane. my friend got 40 pills. i do think he just killed his patient. i mean how many bottles of pills did that poor dude have to take anyways HAHA..ha..ha? not funny? alright well lets move on.
so, down to the blatant point that i discovered that instantly told me,"dude, you tripped up bad this time >=D" you all wanna hear it? youwannayouwannayouwanna? i think everyone just alt-f4ed my page at this point. cause we're out of shape and fat and nobody likes us =D. well for those of you who stayed on, the blatant point was at the last question. where we had to calculate the amount of calcium carbonate in a seashell. that weighed 1.03 grams. and i calculated with great efficiency and i obtained this answer.
Amount of calcium carbonate in 1.03g of seashell = 3g
hmm..quite a smack in the face indeed..but. not that huge a bitchslap yet. the next part of the question was, calculate the percentage of calcium carbonate in the seashell. MAN ITS LIKE ADDING INSULT TO INJURY. WHAT'M I SUPPOSED TO WRITE?! oh the percentage of calcium carbonate in the seashell is approximately 300% and i do think this shell is mutated. so, in all due respect to the question and to my dignity, i left it blank. though i was itching to write," chemistry doesnt require us to dissolve seashells in acid you mofo gimme something more straightforward and in-my-face." which would eventually lead me to get a divine spanking from john's reverred Teo Ser Luck.
well loves, thats all i can pull out of the G rating box. the rest you might have to speak to me in person to find out so likex likex addsh miee kKx?
m-ash-and: shadowlizard1991@hotmail.com (FINE SO I MADE IT WHEN I WAS 9 =D )
fwensterx: eeuu addsh miee dunch kall miee addsh eeuu. dowan copycat,liar and backstabber horx. KEKEKEKEKK.
i just took a portion of your life
Friday, September 08, 2006
CHEER UP BOONYEW! I'LL PLAY ANY THRICE SONG YOU WANT TILL MY FINGERS BURN OFF!YOU'LL NEVER BE ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE! RHYTHM AND BASS TOGETHER 184~~(#@&@(#
so lets just go back to those happy times =D
i just took a portion of your life
Sunday, September 03, 2006
hmm..i didnt intend to do a post again so soon but there's something that really bothering me at the moment. firstly, its the fact that i have a flu and i'm wheezing away like some retarded howler monkey. i'm pretty sure the old dude i was pushing around the zoo didnt cough or wheeze and spasm. in fact, he didnt even talk. no man's an island huh. well that guy felt like a distant continent altogether. anyways, it couldnt have been him who passed the flu to me..deserie was in the pink of health so..How in the gulak world did i get this flu..karma? i mean the only person i've been critisizing so far was sicheng. that's not enough karma since he's not that important. LOL kidding.
secondly, i've heard many a time that the world has gone absolutely mad. but this is the first time i've started feeling it. just the other day, i decided to visit Yahoo! for no apparent reason. and splashed across the featured videos page was
1.Stroll Of The Penguins: watch six penguins walk to their new home at the zoo
2.Cell phone throwing contest crowns winner
Am i just skeptical or..do people actually like watching fat vertical birds wobble into captivity? i mean yeah they're adorable and all but 25seconds just to watch them walk into a swimming pool? i could take over the world in that time!
And the cellphone throwing contest..is just awkward. I mean, if you have so many cellphones such that you require a contest just to get rid of them, i would suggest you donate them to yours truely. so that i can sell mine to the museum. it's kinda embarrassing sometimes when people want to send you stuff through their phone and they ask: bluetooth? no. decayed. infrared? nope. it kills sperms. GPS? nope. i have one in the car though. then what've you got! SMS and camera. ohh..how many megapixel? 0.005, love.
so..yeah thats one of the few things that have been bugging me recently. oh yeah, and about my wanting to write up on our singapore idols, i guess i'll put that off for the time being. i found out there were more obnoxious people on this earth. eg. Paris Hilton. she comments on her latest album,"i like, cry when i hear it. its so good" well missy hilton, the only time i cried because of you was when you stuffed your hand up a cow's behind in the Simple Life.
oh and, i cried for the cow.
i just took a portion of your life
Name 11 people you can think of right now in your head.
*three of which must be the opposite sex
*After that tag at least 5 people to do this.
1. sibeng
2. deserie
3. amanda
4. rachel
5. zacky vengence
6. iggy pop
7. roxane
8. darren
9. boonyew
10. blossom
11. bubbles
1. How did you meet 10?
on kids central, disney channel, and cartoon network
2.What would you do if you never met 2?
i wouldnt know my first bimbo!
3.What would you do if 9 and 11 dated?
i would advise 9 to consult a physchitrist
4.Do you like 7?
as much as she likes me =D
5. Would 5 and 6 make a good couple?
zacky's too emo. iggy's too saggy.
6.Describe 3.
Amanda..is a girl who is really chatty and lively, has groundshakingly red emo specs and has a lovely smile
7.Do you think 8 is attractive?
no. he turns up late 24/7 and demands that he's the leader of the band so he can be as frisking late as he wants. he also believe that tight black is hot. LOL
8.Tell me something about 9.
he may not look it, but he enjoys milk bathes with rose petals inside every once in awhile
9.Do you know any of 4's family?
i've never even seen her before LOL
10.Whats 5's favourite things?
black shirts and underwear and eyeliner and cutting himself
11.What would you do if 10 confesses he/she likes you.
i would need to get my hearing and eyesight checked
12.What language does 6 speak?
Engrish
13.Who is 9 going out with?
Darren! on saturdays and sundays, he cheats on darren with me. on public holidays he cheats with sibeng.
14. How old is 8 now?
15.
15.When was the last time you talked to 1?
5minutes earlier until he decided to watch lord of the rings
16.What is 2's favourite band/singer?
The Artic Monkeys. kidding i dont know she didnt tell me =D
17.Would you ever date 7?
LOL?! no she'd date me first. =D
18.Would you ever date 11?
if i was hallucinating, on crack and absinthe, i would.
19.Have you ever seen 8 naked?
HAHAHA. half.
People whom you want to pass this on:no one. i dont believe in chainmails =D
i just took a portion of your life
so lets just go back to those happy times =D